Romantic Scribbles

So Erica and I have some exciting news forthcoming, and while I want provide full disclosure here I’d like to talk a little about what’s going on.  (No we are not pregnant currently.)

Let’s start with the idea of calling.  From the time I was a kid I wanted to be a preacher.  Yes I’m sure that like many kids my desire stemmed from a desire to be like my Dad, who has been a preacher my entire life.  When I was in high school I believed my desire was confirmed with a calling.  In fact prior to graduating college I never seriously entertained the idea that I might do anything other than preach.  Then life happened.

Life from 22-30 has been kind of tough for me.  As someone who was always sure about what he was called to do, I never felt like I was doing what God wanted me to do.  I had some jobs that I thought might prepare me for ministry in the future, but in every career decision I made I felt slightly left (or right) of center.  I had jobs in which I was successful.  Jobs where people looked and said, “hey take a look at that Shawn kid, watch out for him he’s going places.”  And I had jobs where felt like a complete failure, and people seemed to say “Shawn who?”

So, I ran to the place where I was assured of positive feedback…School.  I’m good at school, and I thought maybe even it was a calling to go and get a terminal degree.  Now I’m not saying that I made wrong decisions, or that God wasn’t calling me to take the steps i’ve taken.  All I know is that my journey has had more uneasiness and confusion than I anticipated.

But, right now something has changed and I feel the strongest prompting of God that I can remember in my post-college life.  In fact at the moment I feel a strong calling from God to be right where I am.  I feel, for the first time in quite a while, that I’m right in the middle of God’s will.  And that belief has me wondering about the last 8 years.

As I look back and try and construct a narrative of the events of my life, I think that those 8 years weren’t wasted.  God was preparing me for something, teaching me something.  Maybe the lesson might have been shorter if I learned it quicker, but I don’t think I could walk where I believe God is asking me to walk if he hadn’t taken me on this journey.

God has showed (is showing) me something about pride and ego, success and faithfulness, and calling and discipleship.

So I leave you with the promise that in the future I will share more of where God is calling Erica, Jude and I.  All I will say for now is I’m excited and nervous, but confident.